Published in Gutz magazine.

Text reads:


Jeff works out three times a day with hopes to impress the ladies...

but they never seem to notice.

While obsessing over his body, Jeff is soon convinced that his disproportionate calves are to blame for his bad luck with women.

Frustrated and consumed in a culture preoccupied with excessive body alterations, Jeff decides that calf implants will help him get some ass.

Two weeks after the surgery, when the bandages come off, Jeff realizes the procedure had gone terribly wrong.

His plastic surgeon's creative sense of humor now has Jeff running from his new admirers.

Joe, a starving beach bum.